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Tucker Max
Entered on: August 22, 2003 12:28 PM by Ross
A friend of mine sent me this link a few days ago, and I've been reading some of his stories. They are fucking sweet. Check it out:

NEWS 102 - 12 Comments
From: Ross Entered on: August 25, 2003 1:09 PM
A gem from one of the many hilarious stories on his site that I just read:  
"...and a fat guy who uncannily resembled the Comic Book Guy from The Simpsons. I asked him if he owns a comic book store, and I guess this is a joke he's heard often, because he got kinda mad at me. Unsure of how to react to his visible anger, I say "Worst reaction ever."  
Another fucking classic. I could read this shit all day:  
"10:06: The people at my table begin talking about energy healing. Everyone is mesmerized by a girl who took a class in it. I tell them that energy healing is a worthless and solipsistic pseudo-science. They think energy healing is a real science because the instructor of the girl?s class went to Harvard. One guy calls it a ?legitimate, certifiable science,? while making air quotes with his fingers. I tell them that they are all (while imitating his air quotes) ?legitimate, certifiable idiots? because they believe in horse-shit like energy healing. Two girls call me close-minded. I tell them that they are so open-minded that their brains leaked out. They all glare at me with disapproval. I hate everyone at my table."
From: Jackzilla Entered on: August 25, 2003 2:35 PM
Some funny stuff indeed! I read several of his tales last week. He seems like a real prick, but he's funny and he writes good!
From: John Entered on: August 28, 2003 6:52 PM
HA,HA,HA, and HA. I'm going to have to check this site out. I was cracking up at the little bit you posted. The funny part is he said everything I wish I would say in a similar instance. He is fucking right but an asshole at the same time, my kind of guy.
From: Ross Entered on: September 3, 2003 11:15 AM
You know, I am so inspired by Tucker Max and his profiteering off of telling his stories, I think it's time I put my old plan of writing the Roche Fighting Anthology into action. I figure we need to record this shit before Roche's memory of the events wanes too much. If Tucker can publish 2 books about his exploits, I don't see why Roche's fighting stories can't sell... they're entertaining as hell. What do you guys think?
From: The Bone Entered on: September 3, 2003 11:49 AM
Giddy up!  

From: Jackzilla Entered on: September 3, 2003 2:42 PM
Sounds heck-a-slammin' to me!
From: Ross Entered on: September 3, 2003 3:07 PM
The only problem is Roche's astouding lack of ambition. Even if I was doing all the work of writing the stories, I don't think I could commit him to telling the tales, getting the details right, etc. If the stories were mine, I'd already have the book published, dammit.
From: The Bone Entered on: September 3, 2003 9:01 PM
You are right about that Ross. Roche is ranked among the least ambitious people I've ever met. In fact, the only thing he does (that's not required by Mellissa) is work out. Even then, it's only weights, which are relatively easy to do even if you go to failure. He wants a sweet build but is too lazy for cardio. Roche! Hike up your skirt and live some life. Do some shit man!
From: The Bone Entered on: September 3, 2003 9:05 PM
Also, I love Tucker's names for his friends. BrownHole, Goldenboy, Hate, ECredit. ECredit? How the fuck did that one come about I wonder. Funny as hell stories. I've been reading them all day at work.
From: Ross Entered on: September 3, 2003 10:12 PM
I too spent an entire day at work reading his stories. That guy is simply amazing. I wish I had seen his MTV show. He must have lived really close to my old apartment too because many of the bars he frequented were in my old neighborhood.
From: The Bone Entered on: September 4, 2003 12:15 AM
I found this link on TMAX's website which is very amusing. I've always loved these.
From: BigFatty Entered on: September 4, 2003 11:47 PM
Shit - All you will need for Johnny to rehash is stories is a few fresh hotties and a taperecorder. Johnny will surely regale these pretty young things with stories of his former glory. All they need to do is show a smidge of interest (which can be paid for in booze). The rest is New York Best Seller List!

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