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Fatty is Online at BLISTERING speeds!
Entered on: August 28, 2003 11:00 AM by BigFatty
I just got my cable modem up and running! There was just a slight hassle, which required me to reset my modem. So far, so good! I already tried the streaming porn capabilities - fabulous! Next step is to connect my M$ router I got for only $20. I'll go wireless when I get a job and set up my next place.

NEWS 103 - 63 Comments
From: Ross Entered on: August 28, 2003 11:10 AM
Sweet news, Fatty! Now get on Yahoo Messenger for chrissakes!  
Also, I want to see if you really got the fast shit. Go here:  
and tell me how you scored.
From: BigFatty Entered on: August 28, 2003 12:29 PM
1854 Kbps Babycakes
From: Ross Entered on: August 28, 2003 12:48 PM
Whoa!! That's better than mine, even! The best I ever got was 1650Kbps. Nice work, Fattenstein!
From: BigFatty Entered on: August 28, 2003 12:54 PM
1854 Kbps Babycakes
From: BigFatty Entered on: August 28, 2003 2:15 PM
I can't say my network is configured correctly. The transfer rate from the router to my hub is 10 mbps. Plus, I can't get the Xbox on the network. I hope the M$ router does not recognize that my box is modded. I know is is all apart of the learning curve. I've only spend 5 hours on my computer today - who has time to work????
From: Ross Entered on: August 28, 2003 2:18 PM
Dude, that's what you get for buying a $20 router, from Microshaft no less. Are you sure it's supposed to be 100Mbit/sec? Does it say 10/100 on the box?  
Waitaminute... router to your hub??? Why are you using both a router and a hub? The router should be acting as your hub! What manner of process fornication is this, Fatty?
From: BigFatty Entered on: August 28, 2003 3:13 PM
Did I say Hub - sorry - to my computer. Ya its a 10/100 router. The only thing I can think of is the network card. I got it from you (it was one of your older ones). Can you remember if it was a 10/100 card. I got another card that came in the crappy computer I'm thinking of putting in to see if the speed changes.
From: BigFatty Entered on: August 28, 2003 3:48 PM
Did I say Hub - sorry - to my computer. Ya its a 10/100 router. The only thing I can think of is the network card. I got it from you (it was one of your older ones). Can you remember if it was a 10/100 card. I got another card that came in the crappy computer I'm thinking of putting in to see if the speed changes.
From: Jackzilla Entered on: August 28, 2003 3:59 PM
Is it just me or is Fatty starting to repeat himself ever since he got cable? I count two instances above.  
I think it may be too fast for him.  
Fatty - You're not hotdogging it, are you?
From: Ross Entered on: August 28, 2003 4:15 PM
Fatty - I don't think I've owned any strictly 10Mbit/sec cards for many years. It's possible but highly unlikely. However, you may need to either update the driver or somehow tell it to enable 100Mbps mode, depending on how it is installed.  
Also Fatty, hitting the "Add" button twice doesn't make it go faster, it just produces duplicate posts!
From: Jackzilla Entered on: August 28, 2003 4:36 PM
629 Kbps here at the store. How can the FatStation be faster? Oh well.... you better start downloading Fatty! We need some more games! I think the new BUFFY is out! I hope its as full of lackluster* goodness as the first one!  
*used by Ross to describe the first Buffy.
From: Ross Entered on: August 28, 2003 6:03 PM
Note that what I said was comparatively lackluster. I actually like Buffy and Indy, and just started getting the new Buffy in fact. However, they are not AAA titles like Splinter Cell, Halo, and Knights of the Old Republic.
From: Ross Entered on: August 28, 2003 6:06 PM
Just ran the bandwidth test here during "peak" hours - it's only 1285 right now. Still not shabby at all.
From: Swerb Entered on: August 28, 2003 10:38 PM
Yeah? Y'all suck: 1906 kbps! On the flipside, my cock is tiny as hell.
From: John Entered on: August 28, 2003 11:08 PM
So is mine, but I go by Big Cock, it makes me feel better.
From: BigFatty Entered on: August 29, 2003 12:50 AM
Here is another test to see if it double adds my messages. With Jacks help we are fixing my Xbox connection. The Box is now online, but not yet fully sweet.
From: The Bone Entered on: August 30, 2003 2:05 PM
2691 kbps. Take that suckas!
From: Ross Entered on: August 30, 2003 3:37 PM
Damn Bone - that speed borders on the impossible. Any faster and your computer would go backwards in time, I think.  
I'm still stuck in the measily 1200s...  
On the other hand, my new computer is coming along well. I am yet to do any benchmarks on it yet but it is a sweet beast so far. I'll post a pic of it soon.
From: The Bone Entered on: August 30, 2003 4:12 PM
I wish I was there to watch you build it. An apprenticeship if you will. I could hand you the screwdrivers.
From: The Bone Entered on: August 31, 2003 4:44 PM
I closed my Edonkey and tried the bandwidth test again. 2748 kbps. My shit's got powers. No wonder I'm reading news a day late. My shit's going back in time.
From: Ross Entered on: August 31, 2003 7:06 PM
Damn Bone, there must be no motherfuckers in all of Hawaii using the internet and you've got the pipe wide open all to yourself. They must be all out on the beach or some other bullshit activities.

Anyway, my computer looks best in the dark so you can see all the pretty lights (there are 4 light-up fans and 1 neon light at the bottom of the case. Here is a pic of it in the dark:

Here it is with the lights on. I wish my drives were black as well, it would look a lot better:


From: BigFatty Entered on: August 31, 2003 11:43 PM
Bone - Where the Fuck have you been??? I've been calling you for 2 weeks. No return calls, no JA postings. You got some splaining to do... Top Secret Mission or a new vat of vasiline?
From: Ross Entered on: September 1, 2003 12:13 AM
Actually I was going to say something as well... you dropped off the face of the station (Rochespeak).
From: The Bone Entered on: September 1, 2003 12:16 AM
I was in Washington again. I tried to post something on Jackassery while I was there but the dial-up station was way to slow so I said fuck it. I had my phone though. No log of the Fatness calling. Are you sure you dialed the right number. I bet you fornicated the process.
From: BigFatty Entered on: September 2, 2003 12:08 AM
Your phone is Bullshit. I left two messages. No process fornication here - unless you are to blame. Typical ploy of a guilty man is to shift the blame to another party. What, you were out of town for two weeks with your phone and did not call one of your friends. One would suppose you would have had a lot of down time while not working (like at night) and would have called one of us out of boredom. You must have had a lot of 'activities' occupying your freetime. Care to elaborate? Or, care to not elaborate in a public forum.........
From: John Entered on: September 2, 2003 10:05 AM
Whats up with the new face Bert? You think you're Muhammad Ali or something?
From: Ross Entered on: September 2, 2003 10:15 AM
I'm pretty! I'm a baaaaaaad man! I shook up the world!
From: Jackzilla Entered on: September 2, 2003 10:15 AM
Exactly, Johnny! -> "I pity the fool that steals my nut!"  
Oh wait. That's Mr. T.  
From: Ross Entered on: September 2, 2003 6:43 PM
Speaking of upgrades (a bit ago), Jackassery just underwent the fastest upgrade known to man: the fan on the CPU has been making noise for the past couple weeks and I finally got sick of it enough tonight to investigate. I took the side panel off and saw the fan sputtering, on its last legs (which irks me because this fan has gone bad in the past and I bought this one new less than a year ago). As I was on the verge of running out to Microcenter to pick up a new fan, I remembered that Heather's old computer (that got upgraded this weekend, as she got my old hand-me-down) was of the same family of processors (PII Celeron) and had what should be a functional fan. So I shut the server down, yanked the chip, popped hers in, and we're back up and running!  
Total downtime: 10 mins.  
Toal CPU MegaHertz gained: 133.  
Bottom line: you won't notice a damn bit of difference, but my ears will.
From: Ross Entered on: August 28, 2006 7:04 AM

Here is a new bandwidth tester, much cooler than the one before:


From: BigFatty Entered on: August 28, 2006 3:59 PM

My numbers are decent, but not Ross-sweet.  I think you pay for the extra speed don't you?


Download: 1818 Kb/s

Upload: 347 Kb/s

Latency: 54 ms 

From: Ross Entered on: March 6, 2007 5:06 PM

I just re-ran that bandwidth test.  This is insane!  I'm way faster than before with no proper explanation:


From: Jackzilla Entered on: March 6, 2007 10:17 PM

732 down and 112 up for me.  Lowell Cable Rocks!!!


From: Crockett Entered on: March 7, 2007 3:06 PM

This is the low end AT&T DSL - they won't let me upgrade at this point, but for $15/month, I am not complaining.

From: Crockett Entered on: March 8, 2007 4:47 PM
I know - but it is cheap - and faster than Jack's cable. I would pay for the upgrade but ATT is just rolling out here in Lowell and I have to wait.
From: Ross Entered on: December 21, 2007 6:15 PM

I just tried the broadband test again because my friend Hirsch is doing it - my speeds just keep getting faster.  What's interesting is that this is from the test server in Kalamazoo, which is much faster than the Chicago server for me:


From: Jackzilla Entered on: December 21, 2007 6:43 PM

With my new DSL internet:

5199 download/673 upload

It's not Bert-Speed, but I'll take it!  It beats the hell out of my old Lowell Cable/Comcast speed.

From: BigFatty Entered on: December 22, 2007 3:33 AM

Fatty's more than doubled since last time.... with no extra payment too!

DL - 3856 UP - 244 and Ping - 9

Ross - yours is way too fast!  I bet it causes you skid-marks.

From: Ross Entered on: December 22, 2007 9:42 AM
Well, Hirsch's is even faster, yet I'm paying extra for the "speed tier" and he's just getting the basic service!  I don't even want to say how much I pay for internet.  But it'd be just my luck that if I call them to drop me back to regular service, everything would go to hell...
From: BigFatty Entered on: December 22, 2007 11:19 AM

Aren't there all sorts of factors that determine your bandwidth?  You pay to get a basic minimum, and I am sure you get at least that.  Hirsch is probably near a bunch of computer schmucks who pay for premium and it is just easier to let him have it than to ramp him down.

I know DSL has distance limitations, but for cable internet, this has to be the case too.  Surely not to the same degree.  Plus there has to be signal boosting equipment all along the way to keep up the signal. 

Any other factors???

PS - I just YouTubed Triumph the Insult Dog.  I am sure Heather has seen it, but it is worth watching again.  Triumph at Bon Jovi......  Awesome! 

From: Ross Entered on: December 22, 2007 12:19 PM

Yes, it's all about the negotiation between you and the guy you're uploading/downloading from, and all hops in between.  So all it takes is one sluggish node and you suffer.  Cable tends to be fast regardless of the distance to their station, but you do typically share your bandwidth to a certain extent with other local customers, so that can negatively affect you in ways that doesn't happen with DSL.  

And yes, Heather begrudgingly admits that the Triumph/Bon Jovi episode is genius... 

From: BigFatty Entered on: December 22, 2007 2:36 PM

You give poop........ a bad name!


From: NickNick Entered on: December 26, 2007 9:10 AM
I was mildly impressed by Bon Jovi's performance on SNL.  You know,  I just had an idea.  I believe Triumph should host SNL, or at least have a guest spot on it now and then.
From: The Bone Entered on: January 15, 2009 11:02 AM

I tested the new wireless connection that is included in my rent - 4728 down, 874 up. Good enough for pern but I'll likely not be xboxing it anytime soon.

From: Jackzilla Entered on: January 15, 2009 9:40 AM

My DSL currently is running at:  5155 down, 672 up.

Bone - For some of us, pern is Xbox Live.

From: Jackzilla Entered on: February 28, 2009 10:28 AM

I just switched from AT&T DSL to the new Comcast cable (which includes phone, HD TV, and highspeed), my numbers are now: 5257 down, 1987 up.  Not too bad.  We'll be paying less for this package and my internet won't cutout everytime the phone is hung up.

From: Ross Entered on: February 28, 2009 7:00 PM

Very sweet!  We spent the day looking at houses (and found one that was very promising) but a precondition is cable modem - DSL just won't cut it.  Luckily, I think the entire area we're looking is serviced by Comcast so I think I'm ok.  More details to follow after our next outing tomorrow.

From: RobotSpider Entered on: March 2, 2009 8:58 AM

Very sweet Zilla!  Welcome to 1999!  :) 

Bert, I don't blame you.  On paper, and according to the propoganda, DSL should be faster, but it just isn't.  I've tried DSL twice, and despite having faster advertised speeds, it fails to perform.  Yes, I pay much more for cable vs. what DSL would cost, but it's worth it (relatively speaking).

On a side note, does anyone else have the problem in Firefox on JA when adding a comment/post that the page scrolls so the currently typed line is at the very bottom of the browser? If I try to scroll so the response box is in the middle of the screen, it jumps down as soon as I hit [ENTER] to start a new line. I don't know if that makes sense.  I'll post a video if you don't know what I'm talking about.



From: Ross Entered on: March 2, 2009 11:33 AM

Yes, I have the exact same problem in Firefox, Spider.  It's definitely a bug with the editor software I am using.  I should look to see a newer version fixes the problem, but of course that's about 13,964 on my to-do list right now. :) 

We saw two houses this weekend that we really like, and have spent the past 15 hours bickering over which one to bid on, and I finally think we have the leader chosen.  We might not get it, but we're going to try.  I want to post some pics but I don't want to get my hopes up too much just yet.  Suffice it to say that if we get this baby, I will eventually build the baddest ass movie room that man has ever known.

Anyway, the inspection on my own condo happens tomorrow morning.  Depending on how that goes, I could be very grumpy or very giddy.  More as events unfold...

From: RobotSpider Entered on: March 2, 2009 12:01 PM

No worries on the bug.  Just wanted to make sure it wasn't one of my various plug-ins.  I can deal with it :)

From: Ross Entered on: March 3, 2009 7:30 AM

My inspection is in a half an hour!  I am fucking terrified!

From: Ross Entered on: March 3, 2009 8:04 AM

I guess I'm giving the blow-by-blow.  The're here.  I'm freaking the fuck out.

From: NickNick Entered on: March 3, 2009 10:06 AM

Why?  Do you have dead bodies plastered in your walls?  It sounds like you run a pretty tight ship in your household.

From: Ross Entered on: March 3, 2009 10:23 AM

Because I'm a worrier.  He's going over his findings with the buyer now, and I'm trying not to listen in.  He's pointing out a lot of stuff, though I understand my inspector did too (Heather was there instead of me for it).  I just have this (possibly irrational) fear that he's going to find so much stuff that the buyer is just going to walk away.  Fuck!  This is killing me!!!!

From: The Bone Entered on: March 3, 2009 10:35 PM

How'd it go? There's always going to be minor probems. As long as your foundation isn't cracking you are good to go.

From: Ross Entered on: March 4, 2009 4:54 AM

Well, I (and of course the inspector) did notice that there is a minor crack along the length of one or two of the cinder blocks above the door on my back deck.  I don't know how serious that is.  The foundation of the building is fine, I'm sure of that, since the inspector never brought the buyer down there to go over anything.  But that crack is like 20 feet off the ground, and like I said, appears to only be affecting a block or two, and it's a hairline kind of thing.   Also, my granite countertop is cracked through in front of the sink and I'm sure he'll ask to have that replaced. I'm sure there are several other things wrong since he spent a half hour going over everything with the guy.

I talked to the guy after the inspector left and basically asked him if he thought we were still a go.  He said he still felt confident, and even mentioned possibly calling me in the coming weeks if he needed to come over and take a picture of a room or two to help him pick out furniture and whatnot.  So it sounds like he's still serious about going forward, providing I take care of whatever repairs.  So now it's just a waiting game, waiting for his attorney to issue those requests. 

I tell you though, that inspector was thorough as fuck, took over 2 hours to go over just 1500 square feet, took tons of pictures, ran all the faucets for over half an hour simultaneously, etc.  I'm sure it will take a day or two just for him to produce his report, and then another day or so for his attorney to give mine the list.  So I'm not done worrying, hence why it's 4:30AM while I'm typing this, and I've been awake for the past 3 hours already.  But if I get through this transaction, I'm going to strongly consider hiring that guy for my next house.

Speaking of which, we have been in negotiations for a place out in the burbs.  It's owned by a relocation company, which I had heard would make things proceed very slowly, but it's been quite the opposite so far.  We went back and fourth 4 times over the course of the day, and we haven't officially settled on the price, but my agent (yes, I ended up using an agent on the buy side, and I couldn't have done this without her) is confident they'll take it and besides it's barely less than their last counteroffer.  I'll post some links to pics of the place and whatnot if and when I get a signed contract and I feel a bit more out of the woods on selling my own place.  But suffice it to say, it's a nice big house (3500 sq ft), 4 bedrooms on the second level, 4.5 baths (for 5 shitters, Bone), a mostly finished basement with a perfect room for a home gym, and the coup-de-grace: an unfinished room that I plan on turning into my home theater someday.  There's a large first-floor office which will serve as the new FRICCC and home of the Jackassery datacenter (though I migh move that to the basement, who knows) and a big family room with a big fireplace and built in bookshelves on either side.  It has nice brickwork on te front as well as some stone thrown in for good measure.  One thing it doesn't have is a washer and dryer, so that's at the top of the list of items we'd have to get once we move in (or before).  I also have to buy a second car for my commute to the train station, which is by all accounts, going to suck.

So that's where it stands today.  I have basically been both a nervous wreck and an incorrigible asshole at least as long as I've had the offer on my place, and haven't had a good night's sleep in a couple of weeks.  Good times.


From: Jackzilla Entered on: March 4, 2009 10:57 AM

I have a pretty sweet inspection story myself.  When we were selling our last house, the buyers-to-be came out with their Realtor and the inspector.  I just kept to myself in the computer room.  Well, at one point, I could hear them talking in the basement.  Being curious I ended up in the hallway outside the computer room, on all fours, ears to the register.

After a couple minutes listening to their discussions, to my utter delight (not!), a voice behind me asks, "Hear anything good?"


Their Realtor was sitting on the couch in the living room behind me, looking at me with my butt in the air.  "That's ok, stay down there -- I wanna know what they're saying too!" she tells me.

I knew her (she worked for my dad back in the day when my folks had their company) and we had a good laugh over it but I was bit embarrassed to say the least.

From: Ross Entered on: March 4, 2009 1:12 PM

Hahaha, that's sweet.  Yeah, I was highly tempted to put my ear to the door, too.  It's just nerve-wracking as hell.  And I'm just sitting around waiting for the phone to ring or an email to come in letting me know what they're requesting as a result.  It's killing me, man...

From: Bunky Entered on: March 4, 2009 1:26 PM

Way to put your butt in the air Jack!

Ross, I am suprised you did not have cameras discretly set up in each room with a feed to your laptop so you could watch as they walked through the inspection. I am sure you could have found a way to add audio!

An IT guy I used to work with had his whole house set up with hidden "nanny cams" and could get online from work and see any room in his house.

From: Ross Entered on: March 4, 2009 1:46 PM

I have definitely considered that - but then again, I don't have a nanny since Heather is staying home these days, and we don't get babysitters often enough to make it worth it.  But I definitely have thought about it.

From: BigFatty Entered on: March 4, 2009 4:28 PM

Where am I supposed to get some good-ass tacos within walking distance next time we visit?  You didn't put that in your ad.  Could have got an extra 5 grand at least!  What use are 5 shitters when you don't have the tacos to fill the bowl?

If you are still nervous, go get a taco while you still can.  Its kinda sad for me now :(  I liked the Johnstains Station.

From: The Bone Entered on: March 4, 2009 11:16 PM

Hope it all goes smooth Ross. When you start to worry just think about my $80,000 in negative equity. I might be a home inspector when I retire from the Nav. I can work as little or as much as I want and basically set my own schedule. T

From: Ross Entered on: March 5, 2009 3:22 AM

Hey, I like it here too - if it weren't for the expanding family and just general bursting at the seams, I'd stay longer.  And yes, I've been extremely lucky so far.  I just can't help but feel like my luck can't last...


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