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"Kill Bill" looks like it's going to be a good one.
Entered on: September 25, 2003 4:53 PM by The Bone,2933,98244,00.html

NEWS 118 - 71 Comments
From: Ross Entered on: September 25, 2003 5:13 PM
Alright, that got me really fucking revved up to see this movie. I can't wait. I just remembered, there's a new trailer out for it:

From: Swerb Entered on: September 25, 2003 10:23 PM
Yeah, I can't fucking wait to see it, either. The trailers I've seen have given me a raging stiffy, and that article confirms my hopes. Only two weeks to go!  
In the meantime, go see Lost in Translation. Just watched it this morning (I got to review it for the paper), and it was really goddamn good. I love Bill Murray when he's not being a total goofball, and he deserves an Oscar for this movie. It's so refreshing to see such a subtle, suggestive film after putting up with some of the high-concept dreck churned out all summer. I think it's tied for first place with American Splendor for my favorite movies of the year so far, although that list may be altered after seeing Kill Bill, Return of the King, Matrix Revolutions or The Cat in the Hat.  
Yes, I'm joking about The Cat in the Hat...
From: Ross Entered on: September 26, 2003 8:44 AM
I saw the trailer for that one in front of American Splendor (even though it opened that day at the same theater I was at) and it looked intriguing. But I heard someone talking about how boring it was the other day, so I was kind of iffy on it. I might just end up downloading it, I think.
From: Ross Entered on: September 26, 2003 10:54 AM
Okay, I take it back - I just checked out Rotten Tomatoes, and WOW. Sorry Swerb, I shan't doubt your judgement again.
From: The Bone Entered on: September 26, 2003 11:55 AM
Speaking of American Spleandor, I saw it last week and here is my opinion. It was a superbly crafted film. Regardless of whether or not NBC gave the filmakers the rights to the Lettermen episode, it was better off being recreated. It allowed the viewer to see a more artistic shot from a different vantage point. I also loved the real Peker and his sidekick. Unbelievable that he was so nerdy. I thought the actor who was playing the sidekick was hamming it up, however, when they had the real Pekar and his sidekick talking to each other it was evident that the actors were playing the roles true to form. The best scene of the whole movie, in my opinion, was when the actors were watching their real life counterparts, they were cracking up in the background. There were definately some interesting parts to the whole film, unfortunately, overall the subject matter just didn't interest me. I've never read American Splendor so maybe I have that going against me. Still, I have the feeling I wouldn't be interested in the comic either. It's supposed to be high art? Maybe, but I really don't care much about an eccentric prick who for the most part is a discusting, lazy sloth. On a more positive note, I liked it much better than Spider-Man.
From: Jackzilla Entered on: September 26, 2003 4:52 PM
T-Bone - I wouldn't call American Splendor (the comic) high art, dude. (that's not an insult to the comic... or to you, btw!). It's just a comic about an every day guy doing his every day stuff. I like it, but I can see where it wouldn't be for everyone. I like to people watch -- and it kinda goes with that. It's very much like the movie though: snippets of his life and the people around him.

an eccentric prick who for the most part is a discusting, lazy sloth.

Rather harsh words for Pekar, don'tchathink? He's just a regular, working class guy with a few ticks. He's not trying to be anything than what he is. A prick? He seems to treat everyone pretty decent to me (including some people I know none of us would hang out with). He IS a bit of a pig, but a lazy sloth? He's worked his job for 30 years and keeps his creative side quite busy with comics and jazz reviews. What? Does he gotta go to the gym everyday to not be a sloth?!



Now... did anyone else think that the KILL BILL preview looked a little like Charlie's Angels? (I can hear Johnny Cock Ring screaming his response about that from here!)

From: Ross Entered on: September 26, 2003 9:23 PM
Not to change the subject too too much, but I was just watching the new preview for the matrix
and there is a quick scene which has the guy was being led away from the Merovingian's table in Reloaded. I knew he'd be back!
From: The Bone Entered on: September 26, 2003 10:10 PM
So fucking sweet I nearly exploaded. So fucking sweet I nearly exploaded. So fucking sweet I nearly exploaded. So fucking sweet I nearly exploaded. So fucking sweet I nearly exploaded. So fucking sweet I nearly exploaded. So fucking sweet I nearly exploaded. So fucking sweet I nearly exploaded.  
I need to gather my thoughts for a moment. - Ok, I'm back. Without even seeing it I'm putting out that this trilogy is sweeter than original Star Wars and LOTR combined. Well maybe not combined but it would be close if Jedi had just one more Ewock.
From: John Entered on: September 26, 2003 11:17 PM
Zilla - KILL BILL looks like Charlie's Angels if it had a brain. Carlie's Angels was devoid of witty dialog and more importantly intelligence. This is something KILL BILL will undoubtedly not fall short on. Tarantino is a master of style also something Charlie's Angels lacked big time. Oh it did have style, SHITTY STYLE that is. I would feel comfortable betting my left nut that KILL BILL will be a far better movie than Charlie's Angels.
From: John Entered on: September 26, 2003 11:18 PM
Oh, and one other thing, the Matrix preview I saw at the movies the other day ROCKED!!! I can't wait!
From: Ross Entered on: September 27, 2003 8:39 AM
Yeah Bone, I guess I forgot to mention how sweet that preview looked. There is a lot in there to take in and potentially analyze but I will spare everyone and wait another month or so till the movie comes out. Though there was one obvious thing that irritated teh shit out of me, that hopefully will be digitally corrected in the final product: when Neo gets hit in the subway station (in front of the mystery guy) and flies into a wall (which of course crumbles), it was such an obvious stunt double - I could even tell he was an asian guy. It was like in "I'm Gonna Get You Sucka" when the dude's mom starts whupping asses and it was a white dude with a mustache doing her stunts.
From: Swerb Entered on: September 27, 2003 10:04 AM
Jumping back to Lost in Translation, I just read some comments posted on the Entertainment Weekly website, and it seems like the yokels who went to see it because Bill Murray is in it and were expecting Caddyshack 3, didn't like it, and said it was slow and boring. It's a really subtle film, character driven, kind of sad, visually gorgeous and has a few very hilarious moments. Bert, you know how you said you don't put any account into someone saying a movie is "confusing," and you just chalk it up to that person being stupid? Well, anyone who says Lost in Translation is slow and boring has a skull full of Skittles.  
And yeah, that Matrix preview is spooge-worthy. But I'm more excited about Return of the King cuz I love gory, medieval battle sequences.  
Finally, on the Kill Bill front: In the trailer, Uma Thurman seems to exude that Mia Wallace-style cool charm from Pulp Fiction. This movie is going to be sweet, but I have a couple of lingering doubts because Tarantino cut the story into two films. Me, I'd rather see one 3-hour marathon than two shorter bits... and I'd rather sit through all extended versions of the Lord of the Rings trilogy in one sitting (with a couple of changes of Depends) than see that chopped up, too... or maybe I'm just anal-retentive. (Which, by the way, I guess they're re-releasing the first two Rings films to theaters in the weeks prior to Return of the King, and while I've heard they're the extended cuts, I'm not sure that has been substantiated. That will be sweet as hell, too.)
From: John Entered on: September 27, 2003 10:48 AM
Hmmm... Swerb, you've really piqued my interest in Lost in Translation and made me want to see this film. I'm a fan of Bill Murray thanks in part to Ground Hogs Day. It looks as though I'll have to add another movie to my must see list.
From: Swerb Entered on: September 28, 2003 12:28 AM
If you want my official, pretentious GR Press review of Lost in Translation, go here and read away...

From: Ross Entered on: September 29, 2003 8:44 AM
We saw it yesterday afternoon - I thought it was a really good film. There are a couple of classic Murray moments - notably when he's doing the commercials - but that's just gravy. The movie is just great at communicating loneliness. Your review was right on target, Swerb. The fact that the movie doesn't spell everything right out for you is its greatest strength in my mind. Thumbs up.
From: Ross Entered on: October 3, 2003 11:10 AM
So Swerb, you've seen School of Rock, and undoubtedly written your review of it... how was it? It's currently at 89% on Rotten Tomatoes, which is damn good for any comedy. Also, don't forget to catch SNL this week as JB is hosting!
From: Jackzilla Entered on: October 3, 2003 4:32 PM
Entertainment Weekly gave School of Rock an A (!!!). And like Berty said... it's a COMEDY!  

From: Swerb Entered on: October 3, 2003 11:17 PM
Well, Owen Glieberman in Ent. Weekly can have serious lapses in judgment, so I wasn't sold on it... but I did see it, and it's good, formulaic, but enjoyable. And the scene that was in the trailers that involved Jack telling his class that he had a hangover? I was laughing so hard, I missed some of the jokes. Frickin' hilarious. Jack Black really carries the movie, and the writing is a notch better than your typical, idiotic Hollywood comedy. I'm not saying the movie was great by any means, but it's fun and light and funny. My official review (and please note that the awful typo in the headline has nothing to do with me, and everything to do with the dumbass editors at the paper...):

From: Ross Entered on: October 6, 2003 10:31 AM
We saw it yesterday, and I haven't laughed so hard at the movies in a long time. It's been so long since I've seen Jack Black in action that I forgot how fucking awesome that guy is. All the classroom scenes had me sniggering so much I had to hold back for fear of annoying the people around me too much.  
I also had to go back and listen to Tenacious D again because I forgot about how good that is too.
From: Swerb Entered on: October 6, 2003 10:55 AM
Well, shifting back to Kill Bill, I'm seeing it Tuesday morning (I'm not reviewing it for the paper, but I did scam my way into attending the screening). Which, of course, makes me better than everybody else. Reaction forthcoming...  
Also, don't forget the new Coen Bros. movie, Intolerable Cruelty, starts this week.
From: Ross Entered on: October 6, 2003 11:43 AM
I knew this would happen, you parasitic reporter-monkey. Have fun. Don't get any limbs lopped off on the way out of the theater, ahs-weepé.
From: Swerb Entered on: October 6, 2003 2:02 PM
Oh, and this just came down the wire: Celebration Cinema is doing a Lord of the Rings marathon on Dec. 16... you can buy tickets to see the first two (extended director's cuts, even), then the premiere of Return of the King all in one 12-hour package. I'm going to do it; there really is no choice, is there?
From: Jackzilla Entered on: October 6, 2003 2:25 PM
HOLY COW! Sweet!  
So the final movie is going to be a full 4 hours too?
From: Ross Entered on: October 6, 2003 4:37 PM
Talk about your recipes for assal horizontology... I don't know if I could pull that one off.
From: BigFatty Entered on: October 6, 2003 9:54 PM
That even scares the likes of Fatty - and I'm a professional sitter. 12 hours in a movie theater..... You'll need a support team to provide vittles and such. I'm sure they'll have intermissions. Then you'll have a theater-full of bloated-bladder hobbits cramming into the shitterteria.  
It can be done - but is it worth it? By the time the premier comes you will be one glazed-eyed, butt-rashed mo-fo.
From: Swerb Entered on: October 7, 2003 12:37 AM
Zilla, I don't know if the Return of the King will be four hours; such details have yet to be specified. There will, of course, be breaks in-between movies, so I don't need to buy any Depends... however, I'm not sure what one will be able to do for nourishment besides popcorn and such expensive bullshit.  
Is it worth it? Yes, especially if you're me, and you're getting paid to do it. Be sure to read the exquisitely detailed description of my ass rash the following day in The Grand Rapids Press... the only thing I'm not looking forward to is the crowd, which will no doubt be a horrid crew of dateless wonders.
From: Swerb Entered on: October 7, 2003 11:43 PM
Well, I saw Kill Bill today... and I don't even know how to describe it. It's awesome, of course; it's ultra-violent, hilarious, insanely ambitious - in other words, it's classic Tarantino. I don't want to be specific for fear of ruining it for everyone else, so all I'm going to say is that it's Tarantino's love letter to kung-fu flicks, and y'all need to see it ASAP. I can't wait until the weekend, so I can see it again...
From: John Entered on: October 8, 2003 10:42 AM
Swerb - That's just what I wanted to hear, I can't wait!!! I knew Kill Bill would be sweet!
From: Ross Entered on: October 8, 2003 10:58 AM
That's what Howard Stern said as well... of course Robin thought it sucked.
From: John Entered on: October 8, 2003 11:28 AM
Robin sucks!!! I will be seeing Kill Bill ASAP. I know Tarantino won't let me down.
From: Swerb Entered on: October 8, 2003 6:21 PM
Be forewarned that Kill Bill doesn't necessarily have the depth or substance of Pulp Fiction or Jackie Brown, but it's entertaining as hell - funny and action-packed, lots of stuff going on visually. It also seems a bit... truncated. It ends suddenly with a cliffhanger, and doesn't seem like a complete movie at all (not like Matrix Reloaded, which kind of stands on its own).
From: John Entered on: October 8, 2003 6:45 PM
Knowing this doesn't temper my enthusiasm for this movie. Funny and entertaining sounds good to me. Ending with a cliffhanger will undoubtedly leave me wanting but looking forward to the next installment. So bring on the action!
From: Ross Entered on: October 8, 2003 9:48 PM
Roche, I love how you can always make yourself sure you will love something no matter what, it's amazing. NOTHING would temper your enthusiasm! Tarantino himself could get on TV admit to the world that he made a horrible movie and you would still not be swayed. Has Star Wars taught you nothing? Now I'm not saying that I don't think Kill Bill will be good, but I fully expect it to be nowhere near the likes of Pulp Fiction. I've read enough reviews (skimmed, really, so I didn't get spoilers) to know that many people have issues with the early ending, and the lack of witty dialogue.  
Consider my enthusiasm tempered. :)
From: Ross Entered on: October 10, 2003 10:21 AM
Alright, I overstated things a bit. I too am very excited to see this movie. I just ordered my tickets, I'm going at 8:30 tonight. My spoiler-filled review will be forthcoming.
From: The Bone Entered on: October 12, 2003 10:56 AM
Pulp Fiction is one of my favorite flicks of all time. So good in fact that Tarantino has become almost a mystical figure in the world of directing. With that said, it pains me to admit that he had a lapse in judgement with Kill Bill. I saw it yesterday and it borders on being an unwatchable turd. In fact I'm certain I won't see part 2 in the theaters. The ending didn't bother me at all, in fact it could have come sooner. The dialogue was a big let down. Even Jackie Brown's dialogue was far sweeter. Not in the same ballpark as PF or Res Dogs, not even the same fucking sport. I love all the actors/actresses though. I have personal issues with women mustering that amount of whup ass, however it still would have stunk up the show with dudes because I thought it was way over the top. I know Tarantino was paying homage to 70's style kung fu flicks but for christsakes, should he really be doing it? The blood spurting coupled with the overwhelming odds looks good in comic books - not in real life. Don't get me wrong, I like the idea behind it, like the Game of Death outfit, it just could have been a little subtler and more serious. To me it was a big cheese show that was barely entertaining.
From: Ross Entered on: October 12, 2003 3:30 PM
Well, I agree that it was not nearly on par with Pulp Fiction, but I was far less disappointed than you. I had my issues with the film but there were plenty of moments that were highly entertaining for me. I agree in some respects that it was nutty that these people could muster such ass whupping powers, but on the other hand, it was ridiculous for any person, so the fact that it was women was only slightly more absurd. What I would have liked (and maybe we will get) is some explanation for The Bride's impossible abilities. I too would like it to be a bit more grounded in realism, but obviously that's not the kind of movies he's emulating. If you watch some of those old "grindhouse" flicks people are doing way more absurd shit in them.  
Actually my favorite moments weren't even the fight scenes, they were usually the parts where cool music is playing and people are walking or riding around looking cool. It was classic Tarantino.  
The fight choreography did leave a little to be desired for me, though I liked the first fight with Vivica Fox, and also I loved that little schoolgirl with the ball and chain.  
Personally, I'm most pissed that I couldn't watch the whole thing in one sitting. I think it's a truly shitty decision to split the movie up, the worst thing I've seen in movies in a while. Overall though, I give the movie a strong thumbs up. I can't wait to see it again.
From: Ross Entered on: October 12, 2003 3:38 PM
I feel it necessary to mention that I already know what will be my favorite movie of all time in the future:
(not to be confused with The Contemptibles)
From: John Entered on: October 12, 2003 9:19 PM
That was way to harsh, Bone. The dialog while not as good as Pulp Fiction or Dogs was still cool. This was a comic book styled movie and required a suspension of disbelief that was beyond you Bone, but not myself. I rather enjoyed this movie and thought it had sweet style. Maybe an ass whupping from a woman would help cure your incredulity as I assure you there are some capable. As far as it being over the top, that's what Tarantino was going for and it was fun. So it would seem we diagree which is fine, I can agree to disagree, at least on a matter as inconsequential as this one.  
On another matter, did anyone else see the sweet previews of Matrix and Return of the King before Kill Bill? I thought both these movies looked fuckin' cool as hell. I can't wait! Those previews were so sweet that my hair was standing on end. These should make for a spectacular end to the movie year.
From: John Entered on: October 12, 2003 3:54 PM
I thought the fight choreography was pretty good. I too liked the school girl with the ball and chain fight and the first fight the best. I was plenty entertained during these fight sequences as well as others. I thought it was cool at any rate.
From: Jackzilla Entered on: October 12, 2003 7:06 PM
I'm 100% with Bone on this one, kids. This could have been ONE fairly decent movie, but stretching it out over two movies is laughable. Was there any funny dialog? This WAS the same guy that wrote the Pulp Fiction/Jackie/Res. Dogs dialog, right?!? It was like an over-the-top SNL blood-squirting-out-of-the-body 5-min skit stretched out for 2 (!!!) movies. It was a mistake showing the movie out of sequence too -- it would have worked much better in simple chronological order (it was sweet in Pulp Fiction, but took away from this movie). It should have started with the shit happening to The Bride, building up and ending with sweet vengeance. I did the like soundtrack and the odd retro sound bits.  
I can't see this movie going well with even all the die-hard Q fans (much less the general public). But hopefully that'll mean he'll come back with a sweeter movie next time. But don't wait so long between movies, Q!  
The parallels between Kill Bill and Charlie's Angels are uncanny! Let's see: Charlie? Check! (named Bill here)... Lucy Liu? Check! Physics-defying fight scenes? Check! ... :)  

From: John Entered on: October 12, 2003 9:21 PM
Zilla - Opinions are like assholes, everyone has one and some of them stink. ;)
From: The Bone Entered on: October 12, 2003 10:14 PM
Roche - I think you like this movie because you like Tarantino so much you are tricking yourself into thinking it's sweet. It's really not.
From: Swerb Entered on: October 12, 2003 11:49 PM
Well, after seeing it a second time tonight, I think Kill Bill is the anti-Jackie Brown... JB was QT's least self-conscious movie, his most subtle, and his most character-driven. Kill Bill is entirely self-conscious, anti-subtle and all about action... it's so self-conscious, actually, that it forgot to be ABOUT something. Roger Ebert said, "The movie is not about anything at all except the skill and humor of its making. It's kind of brilliant." I think he's right on. I was highly entertained by Tarantino's ambition: the allusions to old kung-fu movies, the over-the-top blood-spraying, the anime, the mish-mash of Mexican/Asian/70s funk/bizarro-soundtrack music, his complete lack of CGI effects...I think it all works, somehow, and Tarantino is the only director who could pull it off. B  
But Jack, as far as the movie is structured with the jumps in time, I hope it makes sense after pt. 2. My guess is, Vivica A. Fox's daughter might have something to do with it, you know, like a circle-of-revenge thing.  
That being said, I've been inspired to list some pluses and minuses about the film:  
Good stuff:  
1. The guys moaning and groaning in the background while she's fighting the Crazy 88 is hilarious. Her comment about "your severed limbs belong to me" was terrific. The whole huge-battle sequence was very entertaining.  
2. Spanking the scared-kid member of the Crazies.  
3. "This tall drink of cocksucker ain't dead!" and the sheriff's row of sunglasses on his dashboard.  
4. The knife/frying pan exchange with Vivica A. Fox.  
5. Charlie Brown.  
6. The title sequence is fucking cool, as usual. The song is perfect. So is the entire soundtrack.  
7. I'm sick of watching men beat the shit out of each other all the time. Let's hear it for ass-whupping women! Realism is obviously not the film's goal.  
8. "California Mountain Snake" is the most absurdly ludicrous code-name ever. It's kind of like naming your sports team the Banana Slugs.  
Questionable stuff:  
1. Buck and the Pussy Wagon was sort of funny, but mostly lame.  
2. The dialogue in general was weak... Vivica A. Fox seemed to just be tossing in "bitch" for the sake of it, and it sounded awkward. Her acting wasn't very good, either.  
3. An editor would have been nice... some scenes dragged on pointlessly long. I think they were padding the movie so it could be feasibly cleaved in two.  
4. Lucy Liu's brain - dumb.  
Before I make this entry comparable to War and Peace, I have to mention that I was inspired to watch Game of Death for the first time this weekend, and it was so awful, I just skipped to the end and watched the REAL Bruce Lee beat up on Kareem Abdul-Jabbar. What a piece of crap that movie is.
From: John Entered on: October 13, 2003 10:40 AM
Nicely done Swerb, I couldn't agree more. I loved the tall drink of cocksucker line and mentioned it to Zilla who seemed oblivious to the reference even though he just watched the movie. I think the Bone and Zilla went into the movie wanting to not like it. If I happen to like a movie the Bone loves to dislike it. He likes to be contrary, it's his thing.  
I also agree that while Vivica A Fox provided a nice fight scene her acting was lack luster.  
The sword making scene dragged on and on although I was amused with their first conversation.  
The Game of Death is a horrible movie. If you have not seen Enter the Dragon you should. This is a much better movie with all Bruce Lee in it. Return of the Dragon is also cool especially when Bruce and Chuck go at it.
From: Ross Entered on: October 13, 2003 11:15 AM
The thing about Game of Death is that the only finished part of the movie IS the ending. Almost all the rest of it was filmed after Bruce Lee died and they got a cheesy body double to do it. It's horrible. Roche is right - Enter the Dragon is probably the best one, and I will always love Return of the Dragon (First appearance of Chuck Norris) as well.  
I didn't think the ending with Lucy Liu's brain was dumb, though. That was fine to me. I also liked her anime origin story. I also agree about the credits/opening song and the cocksucker line. All good.  
But there were little things that I liked best, like the Green Hornet theme as the cars/motorcycle were rolling down the street. I actually really liked the hospital scene with the exception of one glaring flaw: if her legs didn't work, her arms shouldn't have, either.
From: Jackzilla Entered on: October 13, 2003 3:04 PM
I think the Bone and Zilla went into the movie wanting to not like it.

I can't speak for Bone, but I certainly went in WANTING to like it -- and I fully expected that I would. But I was dissapointed. I won't deny there were some good elements (the soundtrack, some of the fighting, etc), but as a whole I thought it wasn't a very good movie. I'm glad you enjoyed it though, Johnny Bells!

From: BigFatty Entered on: October 13, 2003 7:53 PM
Good Lord! Kill Bill has been discussed so much here that I don't think I want to see it. Not that it seems good or bad - but its like hearing the same song on the radio over and over again.  
But of course we normally would have these conversations in person and all at once, our proximity will not allow this. This forum at least allows us to have the discourse, which, would not be happening without JA. A downside is the topics tend to drag on a tad.  
You take the good, you take the bad. You put them all together and you have the Jackass of life.  
Subject change. I watched Lost in Translation tonight. Great movie, Period. All will enjoy. Unless you are a tasteless, moronic, turd :)
From: John Entered on: October 14, 2003 9:59 AM
I really want to see Lost in Translation. This movie is at the top of my must see list right now. I've yet to hear a bad thing about it.
From: The Bone Entered on: October 14, 2003 11:59 AM
All I want to see is Matrix Revolutions and Return of the King. Beyond that anything else is just killing time.
From: Ross Entered on: October 14, 2003 12:02 PM
Matrix Reloaded comes out today on DVD!
From: Swerb Entered on: October 14, 2003 12:13 PM
Yeah, well, Mystic River is pretty fucking good, too. Saw it last night. Clint Eastwood is the directorial fuckin' master, even if the story is occasionally implausible, hinging on coincidences. The acting is superb. Of course, it's no Unforgiven, but it has a few similar qualities, and it's better than Clint's last few directorial excursions. It's a pretty solid way to kill time, Bone... I'll post a link to my bullshit-laden Official Grand Rapids Press review tomorrow.
From: Swerb Entered on: October 15, 2003 1:28 PM
If anyone cares, here's my review of Mystic River.

From: The Bone Entered on: October 15, 2003 4:54 PM
Excellent review Swerb. I'm looking forward to killing time with it.
From: John Entered on: October 15, 2003 6:42 PM
I don't think it comes as any surprise to those who know me that I'm a huge Clint Eastwood fan. The impetus for this is largely due to Unforgiven which is my third all time favorite movie right behind Pulp Fiction. I will agree that Clint doesn't always get it right but when he does it's often right on the money. Mystic River sounds like another home run for Clint and I'll have to add this to my list of must see movies.
From: The Bone Entered on: October 15, 2003 7:03 PM
I'm not saying that Mystic River isn't going to be good - it most likely will be, but Johnny Chilibowl, ask yourself this: If Clint made a movie about steaming turds, would you trick yourself into liking it on his previous merits as a director? You most assuredly have done so with Kill Bill.
From: Swerb Entered on: October 16, 2003 12:17 AM
At this point, Bone is simply bagging on Kill Bill in order to get a reaction from Johnny Chilibowl. But, Mr. Bone, I think you're off base with your review of Kill Bill. It's way too wildly creative and ambitious to just completely write off, in spite of its flaws.  
As for Mystic River, Clint is working with good material, and the cast is practically untouchable.  
By the way, if anyone is bored or has 4.3 minutes to kill, here's another film review I wrote, this time for a lame horror movie. I looove writing mean things about bad films:

From: Jackzilla Entered on: October 16, 2003 12:31 AM
I'm with Johnny Chilli Balls on this one! I've been a fan of Clint Eastwood ever since Every Which Way But Loose. Never before or since has a monkey totally captivated audiences in a movie as when... um...  
Hey... Where'd everybody go?  

From: The Bone Entered on: October 16, 2003 10:36 AM
Swerb, Kill Bill is wildy creative and ambitious I agree, however, so is a lot of modern art. Jackson Pollock for example. Now this reminds me of a story where some guy had a monkey splash paint all over canvas and exhibited the works before a group of art critics. They thought it was excellent and avant garde. I think they they suffered from the "Emperor has no clothes" syndrome. Same with Kill Bill. QT did some creative shit with it but the end total was akin to a monkey going berserk with paint.  
Jack - I hope you didn't misunderstand me. I love Clint Eastwood both as an actor and director. I just made the steaming turd comment to illustrate a point.
From: Ross Entered on: October 16, 2003 11:30 AM
Everyone is entitled to their own opinion Bone and I respect enough of yours that I won't shit on your Kill Bill review. But I think partly what a lot of people don't like is that they were expecting Kung Fiction, which this wasn't. This has a lot of references to (shitty) movies and other pop culture that Tarantino likes. If you don't get them, don't like them, or don't care, then a lot of those things that fanboys find cool are meaningless to you. Me, I will admit a small amount of disappointment, but only about as much as I experienced with the Matrix Reloaded (which I still need to buy on DVD). I still found the movie to be quite entertaining and can't wait for the next installment.  
That said, Johnny Chillidog is a master of self-deception on par with Chuckleberry Heiss, but only with respect to movies.  
Swerb - have you seen Intolerable Cruelty yet?
From: John Entered on: October 16, 2003 1:29 PM
Bert - A master of self-deception with respect to movies? Most of the movies I like you like, Bert. I also seem to recall not falling in love with Matrix Reloaded right off the bat even though I was all excited to see it. I did however enjoy Kill Bill. Is this the self-deception you're referring to? If so, you seem to suffer from the same self-deception as I. I do get excited at the prospect of a good movie as do you. What self-deception am I suffering from that you lack, Bert?  
Zilla - It is illadvised to make fun of a legend like Clint. This is not to say he didn't participate in a few dubious productions in his long career. That said, let's not forget movies like Unforgiven, The Outlaw Josey Wales, In the Line of Fire, and Dirty Harry just to name a few. In general, Clint should be revered for his body of work. I could be wrong though since I'm a master of self-deception.  
Bone - You can eat my steaming turd for lunch, since you seem to have an affinity for steaming turds.
From: Ross Entered on: October 16, 2003 12:57 PM
You make an interesting and valid point, JC.
From: The Bone Entered on: October 16, 2003 1:52 PM
The following is Roche's post converted from Rochespeak back to English using the babelize translator:  
Bert - a master of the blindness until the films? The contamination of the majority, that the love of I you, ace, a Bert. I also look like to remember me not to fall in the love with the table that good load with new ulteriorly to the Klopfer, I had obtained exactly excited very, seeing of the end. Nevertheless the calculation of the attitude in the inoperative women considers I. It is blindness, of that the reference of fairies? In the affirmative case, it looks like, exactly of blindness to suffer. ' you obtain passionnan ' with the perspective of a good right of the film like you. What blindness is the suffering of this, lacked that, of Bert?  
Zilla - it is illadvised, the end to give the form to the recovery of a legend that Clint. He would not have says participated not to the productions in a certain doubtful way in relative the long race. Despite you it went not whereas decree that d is forgotten the films Unforgiven, satisfied the scales with Josey with the limitation the end to indicate in the line the fire and the Dirty Harry of the right, some. Of a generalized way Clint that would have that to being revered for the relative body of the work. He could nevertheless scorrettamente be, since I am a master of the blindness.  
Bone - you can eat turd of the mine that cooked with the steam for the lunch, of which it looked like since then to have an affinity of turds with the steam to cook.  

From: The Bone Entered on: October 16, 2003 1:59 PM
I think I'll skip lunch at the Roche household.
From: Ross Entered on: October 16, 2003 2:00 PM
I nearly have tears running down my face, that is so funny. The last sentence alone is unbelievable.

I also love:

The contamination of the majority, that the love of I you, ace, a Bert.

Also: It is blindness, of that the reference of fairies? In the affirmative case, it looks like, exactly of blindness to suffer.

From: BigFatty Entered on: October 16, 2003 3:11 PM
I am beginning to believe that this babalize translator is more than what it seems. It looks like it delves down into the deeper psyche and brings up the inner turmoil that a person is trying to hide. What we are seeing is not the primarily incorrect, confusing sentences, but actual thoughts cobbled together from the dark recesses of the brain.

Ross pulled out 2 excellent examples of this. Is Johnny's love for Ross and himself contaminating the friendships of JA? The reference to Ace is obviously to Ace and Gary and his own identification with the Duo.

The second addresses John's sadness to those who are blind to him being a fairy. The last sentence is quite profound and poetic.

In the affirmative case, it looks like, exactly of blindness to suffer.


From: Ross Entered on: October 16, 2003 3:40 PM
Perhaps that first line indicates that his sadness is that in his love for me (Bert), he is already committed to you (Ace). And that to admit it outright would contaminate the majority?  
The babelizer is a powerful tool of truth.
From: BigFatty Entered on: October 16, 2003 9:37 PM
Yes! Thats it. The psyche is a difficult thing to understand, but you've cracked the code on this one.  

From: John Entered on: October 18, 2003 1:30 PM
The babelizer is a powerful tool indeed. To unravel the mystery of one's inner psyche is not to be taken lightly. Only now after having read the babelized version of my own writing can I begin to truly know myself and the fairy lurking within. While it's true that I've been committed to Ace, perhaps it is time for a change. Bert is the likely successor even if it risks the majority to contamination. I'm sure now that Bert is fully aware of my true feelings his loins burn in anticipation of the forthcoming union which is inevitable. I must now bid a sad farewell to the Ace and Gary dou and in it's place a new duo will rise. Long live the Bert and Johnny Chilidog duo.
From: Ross Entered on: October 18, 2003 11:13 PM
Exactly, Roche... err... waitaminute...
From: Ross Entered on: October 19, 2003 1:01 AM
I just found this Kill Bill "Study Guide" that shows many of the film's influences. I think it's pretty sweet.

From: The Bone Entered on: October 19, 2003 10:39 AM
One thing lacking in the above list of was the nod to Charlie's Angels. Seriously though, one of my favorite things directors do in movies is throw out references to other movies or ideas. A big problem of mine was that it seemed like this was the whole point of the movie. On the other hand, Matrix Reloaded does the same type of thing but in a far sweeter and subtler way. Woven into the story. Kill Bill seems to be story woven around the tributes.

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