Show Entries

Fat Bastards
Entered on: October 23, 2003 9:46 AM by Ross

NEWS 132 - 3 Comments
From: Swerb Entered on: October 26, 2003 10:56 AM
Wow, big surprise. Thing is, I went to the Blue Man Group show Saturday night at Van Andel, and sure enough, the lady sitting next to me was about 5'6", 375 lbs. No shit. She should have been forced to buy two tickets. Instead, I had to sacrifice about 20% of my chair for her overflowing ass cellulite. She even laughed like the stereotypical fat person - loud and fucking obnoxious. I'm surprised she didn't chow down on a few trays of nachos during the show...
From: John Entered on: October 27, 2003 9:06 PM
That is sooo fucking annoying. I have rather broad shoulders so I need all the room I can get. The last thing I need is some obnoxious fat lady infringing on my space. A sharp elbow to the ribs might have been warranted at this point. I'm surprised she didn't turn to you and say "get in my belly".
From: Ross Entered on: October 28, 2003 8:05 AM
I have had two particularly nasty plane flights due to fat mofos. One was extra irritating because the idiot I was with from my company is one of those greasy used car salesman types, who wheeled and dealed to get us up near the front of the plane where the seats are supposedly marginally larger. Only thing was, I had a nice aisle seat in the back of the plane and he got me a middle seat near the front instead. So I get onboard and there's a nice small woman on the aisle seat and no one on the window. The plane was ready to take off, and still no one had sat next to me in the window seat, when all of a sudden a big fat wheezing guy, sweating profusely, stumbles onboard and of course wants to get in. This guy weighed at least - I'm not shitting - 400lbs. So we get up and he barely manages to squeeze himself in. Then he promptly goes to sleep! I sit down but the guy is fully halfway into my seat. My left shoulder is wedged into his armpit, which I gotta tell you was not a comfortable experience. Plus, I'm tilted over at a 45 degree angle, leaning into the nice lady on my right, who at least sympathized with me. Indeed, the entire plane did, because before long, EVERYBODY knew about this guy because his snoring literally drowned out the sound of the engines. It was so fucking obnoxious, I can't tell you. I think I was flying from southern Ohio to Chicago, so the flight couldn't have been more than an hour, but let me just say that that was one of the longest hours of my life. After that I vowed that if I was ever in that situation again, I would either demand to be re-seated, or take a later flight. There's no way I'm putting up with that shit again.

[Log In to Add Comment]

a division of

© 2003 Ross Johnson
RSS Feed