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Actual Article from the LA Times
Entered on: July 11, 2003 12:00 AM by Creeko
Sorry, this text needs to be re-written

NEWS 57 - 11 Comments
From: Creeko Entered on: June 17, 2003 8:30 AM
Gives new meaning to Fatty's "Fart Canon"  
If the gerbil survived the action of the incendiary fart, do you keep a shit stained burnt rodent?  

From: Ross Entered on: June 17, 2003 9:05 AM
Sort of hard to believe that that much detail would be known let alone printed. But funny nonetheless.
From: John Entered on: June 17, 2003 4:41 PM
This is one of the most absurd things I've ever read. I can't believe that people actually do that nasty ass shit. It was funny that the gerbil came out with enough force to break this guys nose much like a "fart cannon" would.
From: The Bone Entered on: June 17, 2003 8:21 PM
This story, while amusing, is most certainly pure bullshit. As anyone who inserts gerbils up their ass knows, you don't use a cardboard tube - it's not strong enough to hold the sphincter open, you use a pipe. Uh.... Not that I do that sort of thing. I just heard.....from somebody.
From: Ross Entered on: June 17, 2003 9:28 PM
Furthermore, as someone who has lit their farts on fire before, I can attest to the fact that there's no fucking way the blast from your ass will propel something as heavy as a gerbil at velocities high enough to break someone's nose.  
Also, I've heard a story just like this before. Same scenario, same injuries. It's definitely an urban legend. Here is a great web site that catalogs urban legends. This exact story is on there, so you can see that it's bullshit. It even id's it as supposedly coming from the LA Times:
From: John Entered on: June 17, 2003 9:39 PM
That make sense to me because I was having a hard time believing this story. I've never lit my farts but I was still incredulous of the supposed forces. Thanks for dispelling the myth Bert.
From: Ross Entered on: June 17, 2003 9:44 PM
Of course I lit my farts with the help of Shemp, who pioneered the concept for me. It's quite an interesting endeavor, as it gets hot really quickly. But it's just a WHOOMP with little force. Now, if you had a tube to channel it, that would definitely help, but come on. It's still absurd.
From: The Bone Entered on: June 17, 2003 9:53 PM
Still, while the story is bullshit, I wonder about the trapped intestinal gas. If you did manage to create an open access to the recesses of the lower intestine I bet you would create a decent pyrotechnic effect. Rectum, damn near killed em.
From: John Entered on: June 17, 2003 9:55 PM
HAHAHAHA, I knew Shemp had to be involved. That crass fucker is involved in all vulgar activities.
From: Creeko Entered on: June 18, 2003 8:22 AM
I knew this story had little or no truth to it, but I thought the pure absurdity of it made it worth sharing.  
I think depending on the caliber of the gerbil in relation to the length and diameter tube and a high enough compression ratio, you could shoot a gerbil out of your ass at least 20?.  
In regards to a blast being strong enough to break someone?s nose, that?s pure bull shit. The pressure would have to be so great that the dude?s colon would blow out before anything got shot out of it.  

From: Ross Entered on: June 18, 2003 9:30 AM
That's right, Creeko. Remember conservation of momentum. The momentum of the rodent hitting your nose is the same as exerted on the guy's asshole. There would be serious tearing, I'm sure.

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