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The Bone Lands in Grand Rapids!
Entered on: July 28, 2003 4:20 PM by Jackzilla
Word on the street is that The Bone hasn't been in town for 15 minutes yet Fatty already has his ass at a Wendy's...  
Next stop: Balls' for PULLED PORK & WACKY EYES (tm)

NEWS 89 - 30 Comments
From: Ross Entered on: July 28, 2003 5:17 PM
I have a feeling this week will be the Obeseity Zone for many.
From: Jackzilla Entered on: July 31, 2003 10:04 AM
Zilla, Fatty, Johnny and Bone have played 4-player Halo the last two nights. Our powers are great, my friends. Bone's powers are gaining more and more and has already become quite proficient with sniping and pistol-whipping.  
We anxiously await the addition of BIG-N-TASTY and SLURPY to our Snipin'-Bitches - Warthog-Woopin' - Sticky-Ballin' - Fag-Slappin' - Shotgun-To-The-Skullin' - And Humpin'-Your-Ass-Afterwards Style. You best be bringin' some BBQ sauce for your chicken tender asses!  
Sorry, just had to air some shit talk. See y'all Saturday night! Don't forget to bring soda & snacks!
From: Ross Entered on: July 31, 2003 10:27 AM
I will be careful not to insult the pussy ass snipers, for fear of pussy-ass-team-killing retribution.
From: Creeko Entered on: August 4, 2003 2:23 AM
The Bone lands in Grand Rapids and Jackassery goes dead. I hope to get some rehashing of your guy's adventures.  
Oh and Bone - Habbpybirthday Motherfucker!
From: Ross Entered on: August 4, 2003 8:49 AM
I agree that the site got pretty dead pretty fast - mostly because Fatty, Bone, and Roche were together all the time and between them at least there was no need for internet-based communication.  
And Jack's original comment was right: the Zone was fucked by all. I hope that at least for Bone, like me (even after only a comparatively small dosage of the bad eating style), will have guilt so harsh that he'll get back on the wagon. I know I am, starting now. I think Bone said they ate cheeseburgers at least once a day for several days straight.  
However, Swerb, Bone, Fatty and I went to a steakhouse in downtown GR called Louis Benton that was phenomenal. We didn't have a reservation so they sent us to the lounge with the other riffraff, but it was still more than adequate. Everyone agreed that our steaks were among the tastiest in our memories.
From: The Bone Entered on: August 4, 2003 8:53 AM
Well boys, the week went by quick and my money even quicker. Had a great time, met some new friends, got fat. Zilla - thanks for the gaming fun. Swerb - nice meeting you and good call on my new favorite restaurant. Roche - it was good seeing you again. Zero total score on a Halo round? What's up, I thought you said you had skills? Fatty and Maria - thanks for letting me stay at the Heiss construction site. Bert - I'm still cracking up at your stories. Chicago Streamer. Next time I visit, I'm bringing Muffin so I'll have to tone down the Bone show. Fuck, I still can't believe I'm 30. That's Bullshit.
From: Ross Entered on: August 4, 2003 9:19 AM
Also Bone, I believe you got your wish: you had a relatively Shemp-free experience. Only one absurd phone call whereby my cell phone number was tracked down with Scotland Yard-like sleuthing powers.
From: BigFatty Entered on: August 4, 2003 12:31 PM
Between the Bone visit and my paper - I put on 10 pounds of fatness. Yes it is time to revisit the Zone with gusto. I forgot that Bone vacations are all about feeding the vices. It is not a true vacation unless someone is left near financial ruins. This vacation is par for the course!
From: Jackzilla Entered on: August 4, 2003 4:14 PM
It was a pleasure to finally meet you, Bone. By the way, is Muffin sick of "Hide The Bone" (a.k.a. The Bone Theme Song) yet? I'll let you know when I figure out how to make it your startup dashboard.
From: John Entered on: August 4, 2003 11:41 PM
Of course The Bone omitts the part where I score at the top the very next game after the zero kills. So it appears my skills returned to me asshole! It is true that I was not in top form that night and have played better on other occasions. Still, I had my moments in the top spot that night, even at number one, I don't seem to recall the Bone hitting the number position even once that night. That's the Bone though, he loves to talk shit even when he can't back it up.
From: John Entered on: September 2, 2003 10:29 AM
I had to be cut on when I scored a big zero in Halo one night. How does negative two sound. Thats right boys, Zilla scored a -2 in a round of Halo. He may come up with some bullshit as to why he scored a -2, but as far as I can see that's the worst peformance ever in a Halo match. Not only did you not kill anyone, but you fornicated your own process by killing yourself twice. I admit that night I was not playing great myself however I never took last place at any time. Rich dominated that position except when Zilla was there. You got some splanin to do Zilla. Were you tired? Did you not feel well? Did you have a tummy ache? Something had to be wrong to score -2, perhaps your controler was not plugged in all the way .
From: Jackzilla Entered on: September 2, 2003 11:36 AM
Good Lord, Roche! I kicked your ass this weekend! The game you refer to was one of the hacked games -- Warthogs were flying, rockets ruled the world -- I don't believe I was taking that one serious. It was more a case of how much shit can I get flying.  
Now the game when you got a zero? I know this was achieved DESPITE the fact that you were trying. I wouldn't bring that incident up again, Roche... you were the worst player on the face!
From: John Entered on: September 2, 2003 11:58 AM
Again, The very next game I was number one and had fully redeemed myself. I don't think you kiched to much ass this weekend, only in your mind. Many times I scored above you but somehow you find a way to ignore those games and they do happen. In fact as I recall you were mid-pack most of the night, right along with me and Bastardo, whereas Rad was the top dog. Rad scored 28 kills on Chill Out in team play. I was number 2 with 13 and you came in 3rd with 12. He had more kills than you and I combined or did you forget about that round? At any rate your claim of kicking ass seems a bit dubious to me.
From: The Bone Entered on: September 2, 2003 2:14 PM
Listen up motherfuckers. You guys play that shit like it's your job. I rolled up in the motherfucker with very little game time under my belt and still managed to post respectable scores. Maybe not number one but I never discraced myslelf with a big fat ZERO.  
I'm satisfied with Zilla's explanation though.
From: Ross Entered on: September 2, 2003 2:36 PM
LOL!!! "You guys play that shit like it's your job" Hahahahaha, how very fucking true!
From: Jackzilla Entered on: September 2, 2003 5:10 PM
Oh shut up, Rocky, The Flying Squirrel!
From: Ross Entered on: September 2, 2003 6:45 PM
Awwww... Sounds like baby Zilly-poo has a wet diaper and he's a bit cranky now. Time for a nap?
From: John Entered on: September 4, 2003 10:50 AM
Good Lord Bone, I surely kicked your ass consistantly and did come in number one.
From: The Bone Entered on: September 4, 2003 2:19 PM
Good Lord Roche, a comparison between the proportional amount of time playing HALO and the amount of time kicking ass would show that I am far superior. In fact, there were quite a few times where the BONESAW was above the BIGCOCK in the scoreboards. At any rate, you have brought great shame and dishonor to the house of Roche for your zero - A fact that can't be said of me.
From: Ross Entered on: September 4, 2003 2:19 PM
The House of Roche!!!!
From: John Entered on: September 4, 2003 8:53 PM
The amount of times you scored above me in Halo was sparse at best. As far as playing video games goes, I think you have logged in far more hours in general. So your argument about the proportional amount of play time in Halo is moot as far as I'm concerned. I will admit to some dishonor to the house of Roche for my zero kill game, however, I must once again reiterate that the very next game I scored the most kills. Honor was restored to the house of Roche at that point. I've grabbed the top spot on a number of occasions - A fact that can't be said of the Bone.  
Oh, and by the way, guit holding Zilla's nuts, Bone.
From: Ross Entered on: September 4, 2003 9:08 PM
Roche, in my opinion it is disingenuous of you to claim overall time playing video games somehow translates into Halo skills. You know this is not the case. I have far more experience playing games similar to Halo than anyone, and I can easily get my butt whupped in Halo by you guys, who play it far more frequently. However, if we fire up a new game, that's when my general skills kick into play and I will soundly thrash all challengers for a few gaming fests until everyone gets accustomed to the new game dynamics. The only thing "general" experience buys you is just that - general skills. Not enough to win against an experienced player, just enough to beat the inexperienced ones when all else is equal.
From: The Bone Entered on: September 4, 2003 9:34 PM
True. True.  

From: John Entered on: September 5, 2003 12:35 PM
It's true and I concede to the fact that the Bone picked up on Halo pretty quickly after not playing for some time. I would like to say that if I could score a zero than the Bone is fully capable of it as well since overall he did not play better than me. It just so happens it had to occur when he was present so he could annoy me with his absurd commentary. It has not happend again since, and I intend for it to never occur again if I can help it. Fact is that many of the guys I play with have as much time invested as I do in Halo coupled with more "general" experience. I think I hold my own just fine even though competition is stiff these days. If the Bone had been around longer and played more, I'm sure he would have rose to the top.  
I need to learn to be a little less competitive and play just for fun, then it would not bother me when assholes cut on me for having a poor performance. It's part of the game, even the top guys in our group sometimes score low. The Bone just loves to rub shit in because he knows I'm susceptible to his prodding. So enjoy, Bone!
From: The Bone Entered on: September 5, 2003 1:06 PM
Well said Roche. However, for clarification, I am simply incapapable of scoring a zero. I'm genetically engineered to avoid failure at all costs.
From: John Entered on: September 5, 2003 1:18 PM
If you say so, Bone. I must say however that my zero kills never happend before or since then. It was some kind of freak occurrence and I doubt very much that it will happen again.
From: The Bone Entered on: September 5, 2003 1:32 PM
Well I should hope so, zero kills is bullshit!  

From: John Entered on: September 5, 2003 3:34 PM
Yes it is!!!
From: Jackzilla Entered on: September 6, 2003 9:39 AM
Roche - Do you see what you have caused? In your attempt to belittle me and my totally enjoyable -3 game, your unintentionally hilarious 0 game (previously long forgotten) was brought back up and has fueled us for days.  
In other words: it kind of came around and bit you in the ass.  
On the other hand, you gained that sweet family coat of arms. If I could add anything to Bone's inspired design it would be two breadsticks in a nice "X" configuration.
From: John Entered on: September 6, 2003 2:11 PM
Yes Zilla, my ass was sufficiently bitten. I must admit that my latest family crest is sweet as fuck though and has made it worth it despite my sore ass.

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