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Entered on: July 25, 2003 12:00 AM by Swerb
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PHOTO 59 - 8 Comments
From: Ross Entered on: July 25, 2003 7:37 AM
From: Jackzilla Entered on: July 25, 2003 9:47 AM
I think this dude's determined little mug should grace our front page. Right under Creeko. Name him Billy.
From: The Bone Entered on: July 25, 2003 10:52 AM
This guy reminds me of a story that goes a little something like this: One day I was walking down the street when I heard someone running up behind me at full tilt. My instinct was that I was about to be attacked and purely as a reactive response, I started to wheel around, cocking my arm back in preparation to throw a solid punch to the face of whomever was assailing me. As I started to throw the fist (mind you, this was pure reaction it was happening so fast), I realized that it was a retard and at the last possible second, he veer off to the right of me, narrowly missing running me over. Luckily I was able to suspend the fist of fury bacause he would have been fucked running at full speed into a solid fist sandwich. Of course, I would have been the arsehurl for laying out a retard.
From: Ross Entered on: July 25, 2003 11:31 AM
Hahahaha, nice. I have a crop of retard stories as well. As this site is indeed called Jackassery, this is as good a forum as any to relate them.  
When I was a kid, my mom had a friend who had adopted two girls with Down's Syndrome, and used to bring them over to play from time to time. Of course, as a child, your tolerance for retards is even lower than it is as an adult, so I was less than thrilled whenever they appeared. I didn't know what was wrong with them, but I didn't like them. But my mom forced my brother and I to play with them. The problem was that aside from being retarded, they were spoiled fucking brats and mean as hell. They used to attack Todd and I whenever the mood suited them. I was old enough to fend them off, alas poor Todd often took a whupping. Whenever I would retaliate on his behalf, they would go crying to their mom, and in turn my mother would punish Todd and I simply for defending ourselves. As you can see, I still have not gotten over this, nor the time they ate all my gumdrops and I have never eaten a single gumdrop since then, as no restitution has been made on the part of my mother or her retard-raising friend.
From: John Entered on: July 27, 2003 2:56 PM
Ha,hahahaha, this pick is hilarious. Sorry to hear about the gum drops Bert, they are a tasty treat.  
Bone, your instincts serve you well. This reminds me of the time we were swimming late at night in a private pool after a jog. Suddenly, several people jumped the fence and they were far enough away for the Bone and I to mentally prepare ourselves for what looked like a confrontation. We were both ready to start whupping ass even though we were clearly out numbered. Fear was not a factor that showed in either of our demeanor, just grim determination as we prepared to settle into battle. As it turned out they were just a bunch of dudes from Ottawa Hills that the Bone was familiar with and they were just going for a late night swim. Lucky for them that's all they were there for because the Bone and I would have unleashed a 55 gallon drum of whup ass. I would have probably singled some poor motherfucker out and swung from his balls like Tarzan on a vine.  

From: Swerb Entered on: July 27, 2003 10:42 PM
These are some great fucking stories. I find it quite humorous that Todd got his ass whupped by retards - girls, even.  
Roche: I still howl when thinking about your "swingin' from yer balls" story.
From: Creeko Entered on: July 28, 2003 4:05 AM
If memory serves me correctly, Roche and The Bone were trespassing whilst enjoying a midnight swim at Good Ol? Jolly Rogers (a place I know too well).  
One night Bone and I went there, for whatever reason (I don?t think we swam) and we threw a bunch of beach chairs in the deep-end. We ended up taking a couple of chairs with us just to be arses. I was still working there at the time. When I got to work the next day I found Victor Manski fishing out the chairs in his marble-sack bathing suit.
From: Jackzilla Entered on: July 28, 2003 4:23 PM
I think "Billy" should be Roche-Man's sidekick in The Contemptibles! He could be Retard-Lad! His power: super fast! (irony, my friends!)

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